I got up early and packed up most of my stuff since I knew I’d be getting back kind of late tonight. I strolled around the neighbourhood and collected some lackluster food from street vendors. The food has been really disappointing ever since the festival ended.

I stood at the roadside while I waited for my transportation to arrive. A shuttle to the dock was included in the price of the trip, and the trip cost 3600 Baht, or about $140 AUD. I had my camera bag, waterproof bag, my HD video camera, and some sunscreen. I wanted to get some good photos and footage from this trip after everything I heard from Jason and Jana. My shuttle arrived, and I was surprised that it was just a car and not a bus, but it was cushy; a high-end Hyundai, or possibly a Honda.

We arrived at the Ao Por Pier, on the NorthEast side of the island, and waited for everyone else to arrive. There were already about 20 people there, so I just chilled and watched the water. Looking down the beach, I saw a couple kids playing amongst the boats and tires that were strewn along the sand. This place had a really cool vibe. The pier is extremely long, and once everyone arrived, they had to put us on buses and drive us down the pier to the end.

We walked down a ramp to board our vessel. It was a two-level boat with huge long benches on the upper level where we all filed in. The crew was really friendly and helpful. Some of the guests had a hard time climbing the ladder to the 2nd level and the crew managed to help them and keep things moving along. They hooked us all up with water, coke, 7up, Fanta, or coffee, and explained what we’d be experiencing today. During the explanation, the boat was stationary, just rocking back and forth at the dock. This sort of thing makes my stomach no beuno. Once the boat is moving? No problem. Just rocking in the waves without moving? Hello nausea.

Eventually we got moving and my stomach settled immediately. They put out a light lunch for us, and as we ate, our captain gave us a demonstration about how to get in and out of the boat, what to do, what not to do, how to lay down in the boat when the caves got small, and so on. He was pretty charismatic and his English was good.

Other members of the crew kept pointing at me, and once they were sure that I was watching them, they’d point to their cheeks, where my chops are, and saying “X-Men! X-Men!” except it sounded more like “Eck-men! Eck-men!” I said “Wolverine?” and they all laughed and nodded. This happened MANY times today, because the crew was pretty large and they did it in small groups. In fact, I’ve had more comments about my facial hair during my short Thailand trip than I’ve had in a long, long time. Maybe it’s because you don’t see many bearded Thai men?

I hung out at the front of the boat for awhile, just watching the island approach, and watching the sea eagles following the boat. The crew were throwing some food in the water to get the eagles to pay attention, and to make them swoop behind the boat and fight for food. They’re like seagulls from back home, but way prettier.

The captain pulled me aside and let me know that they’d slightly overbooked this trip, and since I was traveling alone, that I was going to be in my own boat with a guide. Most boats would have two tourists and one guide, and the guide would be explaining everything we’d be seeing on our trip. However, my guide didn’t speak any English at all. He was new and learning. I was okay with this, because El Capitan said that my boat would stick closely to another boat and I’d hear everything that the other guide said. The other guide was a jovial guy named “Joker”, who turned out to be an awesome guy and we got along pretty well.

The same storm clouds that I’d seen yesterday were looming in the distance again, foreshadowing a possibly unpleasant afternoon, but I hoped they’d stay away. I spent long enough yesterday totally soaked to the bone, and I hadn’t thought to bring a change of clothes with me today. I didn’t even think to bring a towel. That wasn’t smart!

So we came to our first island and hopped in the boats. I can’t describe to you the humbling feeling I had, but I’ll try. These islands have enormously high rocky walls surrounding them, and then there are very small openings at sea level. You’re sitting in the ocean, in a tiny inflatable canoe, staring at these massive rock cliffs, and it felt intense. The place has a really majestic feeling to it, and once the boat turned its engine off, everything was quiet except for the bits of multilingual conversation floating amongst the boats.

You don’t have to paddle on these trips. You just sit back and take in the scenery. It’s really incredible. I had my camera turned on inside my waterproof bag and any time that I saw something I wanted to grab a picture of I just pulled it out, then ducked it away again. I’m glad I brought the waterproof bag. The tour company provided them too, but mine was thicker and I liked it better than the worn-out ones they supplied.

Heading into the darkness of the caves was cool. Clinging to the ceiling were massive numbers of fruit bats, which smelled really bad, but were cool nonetheless. It was pretty dark in the middle of the cave, and as I lay there floating in my little boat, it hit me. How dumb could I be? I had bought a head-lamp before leaving Australia, which I’d used many times to get to and from the toilet in the middle of the night back at the On On. This little item would have been perfect for the cave exploration trip, but I’d forgotten it in my hotel room. So I was left to look wherever the other flashlight beams ended up and try to point my video camera in that direction.

When we came to the end of the cave, I could see the light of the lagoon shining through and reflecting off the water. It was beautiful.

As our boats exited the caves we were inside those high rock walls again. Up the sides of the cliffs, Macaques climbed tree branches and observed us. We also saw an aquatic monitor lizard which was very well-camouflaged.

Mangrove trees grew in the middle of the lagoon with all their roots exposed above the water level. The water was very shallow, and a bit murky. We were warned not to get out of the boat at all, because there was very jagged limestone at the bottom of the water, and we might cut our feet. So I just chilled, and we floated along. If I wanted to see something closer, I pointed to it, and my guide would paddle over. We did exchange names, but it was an odd one, and I’ve already forgotten it. He was a sweet kid though, sorry dude.

When we got back to the main boat, it started pouring rain. Really, really, pouring. They told us we couldn’t wait for the rain to stop because we had to sync with the tide times to get in and out of the caves. The next time we went out, in was during an extreme downpour. I left my camera sealed up in the waterproof bag, but brought it with me just in case. I was able to use it when we were in the caves, and sometimes when the rain would let up for a minute or two. But it mostly poured for the rest of the day. The kind of rain you had to shout over. It was okay once I gave in and realized it was just going to keep raining. It wasn’t cold at all, just wet. It rained the hardest while we were at Ko Hong. All the different lagoons within the island have different names, and they’re named after the rooms of a house. Hong means “house.” Ko means “island.” When we got back close to the main boat, Joker told us we could jump out and swim to the boat, which was actually really cool. I don’t normally like jumping off a boat and into open water. Heading out from shore is one thing, but jumping off a boat… I don’t know, I think I just saw Jaws too many times. But I jumped in and swam a couple hundred feet to the boat. I stopped thinking about sharks and just did a lazy backstroke, tasting the intense salty water on my lips and squinting up into the rain.

We had an amazing dinner on the boat. A huge spread of amazingly fresh seafood. There was so much food too, and I’d been in the sun for most of the day so I was really damn hungry. I ate a lot and it was good times on the boat. Everyone got more cheerful and chatty as our collective hunger was satiated. I chatted up this older Australian woman, from Adelaide, and we talked about Australia vs. Canada because she’d been to Canada before when she was much younger.

During the evening on this trip, you get to make a Krathong, which is a floating offering made from banana leaf, with flowers and candles on top. “Loi Krathong,” the festival of lights, is one of the Thai Kingdom’s oldest and best-preserved traditions. It was about to start, on November 2nd, so we were a bit premature, but almost there. I’m pretty sure that the sea canoe company does it regardless of what time of year it is though. My Krathong was actually a lot of fun to make. You start with a slice of the banana tree trunk, which is what makes it float. Next, you fold up slices of banana leaves with a basic kind of origami, to make the pointy little bits that stick out the sides. The rest is up to you. You can stick flowers and candles and all kinds of things on top to make it look nice. We took our Krathong into a nearby sea cave, where we all lit their candles and watched them float away. They were so beautiful, bobbing and dancing on the water, illuminating the caves so we could all see each other’s eyes shining in the darkness. It would have been poetic to just see them float and float and fade into the distance, but that wouldn’t have been very environmentally friendly, since all those flowers and stuff were pinned down with tiny nails. So we collected them and head back to the boat.

Everyone was pretty quiet as we rode back to the dock. The sun had gone down, and I was a bit cold in my wet clothes. I really wanted to sleep on the ride back to the dock, but I was just too cold. People were tipping their guides once we hit the dock. I tipped my tour guide, the one who couldn’t speak, but I hadn’t brought enough money to tip Joker as well. I could see in his eyes that he was a bit disappointed as he bid me farewell, but since Thailand is the land of a thousand smiles, he was smiling while he said goodbye. It was only his eyes that indicated otherwise. I felt bad about it. Shit I didn’t know I’d have two guides to tip!

I got in the car and was driven back to the On On. I changed my clothes and walked the streets a bit before I finished packing, and now I’m about to go to bed. Tomorrow, during my layover in Bangkok, I’m supposed to be meeting CJ for dinner, which should be cool! I met CJ in Toronto at an IAM meet before. He’s from Texas but lives in Bangkok now. I am really damn tired. This trip today was amazing, and the perfect way to end my vacation in Thailand. Worth every penny.

My plan for today was to say goodbye to Jason & Jana first, and accompany the other three up to Nai Yang beach, which is right near the airport. The other three weren’t flying out ’til around 4pm, so we figured we’d chill on the beach, have some food, and just lounge the day away until they had to go. Nai Yang is about a half hour drive from Phuket Town, and they all had their luggage with them, so they were heading there either by taxi cab or tuk tuk. However, I needed to return to Phuket Town after they left for the airport, and I certainly didn’t need anything as fancy as a cab, so I rented a motorbike. After all, they only cost 175฿ ($7) for 24 hours, and I wouldn’t use more than $2 in gasoline. A cab would easily cost 400฿ each way.

I had my motorbike rented and ready to go. Rory, Emrys and Kristi were bringing their luggage to the street to flag down a taxi. I went into the Internet Cafe to give goodbye hugs to Jason and Jana. I thanked Jason for inviting me along for such an amazing trip. It was a bit of a weird goodbye, because I had no idea when I’d be seeing them again. It could be years.

I left the cafe, got on my bike, and idled up to the edge of the street. Rory, Emrys and Kristi had completely vanished. No cab, no luggage, no them. Just gone. They had said they’d wait for me in their cab, so that I could follow the cab to Nai Yang, since I’d never driven that part of the island before. I turned off the bike’s ignition and just waited around for about ten minutes, thinking that maybe they’d have the cabbie circle the block and come back around. They didn’t return, so I knew I’d have to find my own way up there. I went to the counter at the front of the hotel where the tour guide sits. This is the same guy I’d been renting the bike from. He’s a really nice guy, very good with directions, and was also the same guy with whom I’d booked my sea canoe tour. He gave me a map of the island roads, and told me which way to go through town in order to get to find the highway. If I remember correctly, it was a left, another left, and then a right.

Before setting out, I stared at the map for awhile and burned the route into my mind. It was pretty simple once I was on the highway, and I figured I’d just read the signs as I went. I had those oh-so-familiar butterflies in my stomach. I knew I could do this, but if I fucked it up somehow, or if the bike fucked up, it’d be pretty difficult to get back. I made sure I had enough money with me to cover a cab home if I needed one.

I started up the bike and pulled out into traffic. It was a gorgeous day: humid with a big hot sun looming overhead. I rode with my sunglasses on and the helmet visor flipped up, because it was all scratchy and too hard to see through. I was hoping to catch up to the taxi, and once I hit the highway I was doing about 80-90km/h. This may not sound like much, but on a little Honda Click scooter, it feels pretty goddamn fast. I weaved around the other scooters and zoomed up the highway as fast as that bike could carry me.

Highway 402. It is the main artery of Phuket. Leaving Phuket Town, it’s lined with established businesses, but as you travel North, it changes to little shops and fruit stands and tiny shacks. Scooters stay to the far left, which is pretty much just a wide shoulder of the road. In the other lanes, cars, tuk-tuks and larger vehicles zoom by at various speeds, some of them rather alarming. I did my best to stay the fuck away from the cars careening at break-neck speeds because, y’know, I didn’t want to break my neck. I was wearing only my swim trunks, and a singlet (a.k.a. undershirt/wifebeater), so I was not dressed to withstand road rash.

I needed to exit at route 4031 and start making my way toward the coast to hit Nai Yang Beach. I made the turn and instantly my surroundings were exponentially more rural-looking. It was gorgeous. I slowed right down and really took in my surroundings. I wish I had taken my camera with me, though I wouldn’t have had a safe & dry place to keep it. In some wooded areas, the trees were planted in perfect lines and I stared out at them as I rode by, the way I stare at rows of corn back in Ontario.

When I got to Nai Yang, I parked my bike and walked to the water’s edge. This beach was long, and I couldn’t see the others anywhere. I figured they’d stick out easily, being white and tattooed, but there were plenty of white folks on this beach and most were too far away to distinguish tattoos. I was about 2/3 of the way to the North end of the beach, so I figured I’d walk all the way to the North end and then sweep back.

It looked not nearly as far as it actually was. Turned out it took me a long time to walk to the North end, but I was kind of taking my time anyways, examining shells and chasing crabs and whatnot. I had assumed that I probably wouldn’t find them, so I figured I’d have a nice stroll. As I approached the North end, I was passing fishing boats that were anchored not far from shore, with fishermen emptying their gear and walking back and forth through the shallow water. I stepped over the ropes of their boats, and soon found myself at the top end of the beach. If I walked any further, I’d be heading toward the airport, and I saw no humans down that way.

I started walking back and began to feel foolish for not having brought any water on my little walk. I was dehydrating quickly in this heat, and the sun was high since it was around lunchtime. I walked back to where I started, and then a bit further down the beach. I ended up walking past some little beach-side restaurant so I stopped in for some shade, a drink, and a light meal before walking any further. I needed to chill and be nourished. I had not eaten any meat since the day before I left for Thailand, and I spotted a chicken burger on this menu and I went for it. I was about half-way through my anticlimactic burger when I spotted Emrys walking by on the beach.

I shouted “EMRYS!” and heard my voice get carried away by the ocean’s breeze. I ran toward the water, since he was walking through the tide, and shouted again. He heard me.

“Dude we’ve been looking for you! I’m glad you made it” He said.

He pointed to where Rory was sitting with their luggage. I told him the short version about me getting there, and let him know that I’d pay for my meal and then join them.

With everyone reunited, we sat on some beach lounge chairs and just talked for awhile. The others were hungry, but I’d just eaten. Emrys and Kristi wandered off to grab some Indian food from a restaurant they’d seen earlier. Rory and I just chilled.

I had an odd sensation in my gut. I knew this was all coming to an end, and I didn’t want it to end.

Em and Kristi returned with their food and it smelled so good that it almost made me hungry again. After they ate we walked the beach, back North, the way I’d already been. Kristi enjoys chasing and tormenting the little crabs and sea crustaceans. I told her about a couple hermit crabs I’d seen up at the far North end so we decided to stroll that way. It was a nice walk, but I have to say, I wasn’t expecting the amount of trash that was all over this beach. It was totally destroyed by all types of garbage that had washed ashore. Phuket is funny that way. One beach can be totally pristine (like Kata Noi) and another one, not half an hour away, can be totally destroyed. All that trash totally killed any desire I had to swim.

We couldn’t find the hermit crabs, but we found tons of other tiny crabs and Kristi seemed to have fun chasing them around. Her child-like wonder was contagious, and soon Emrys and I were chasing them too, blocking them with our feet and forcing to turn around and run in the other direction. These little crabbies were fast and it was hard to catch up to them sometimes. Eventually they’d give up and duck down into a little hole in the sand and we’d have to find another one to torment.

We slowly walked back along the beach to where Rory was sitting with all the luggage, reading a book. Off in the distance, some storm clouds were looming. I looked away for a couple minutes and when I looked back, they seemed a hell of a lot closer. I watched them for awhile, and I could see them moving in. I could also see the curtain of rain making its way toward us. It was way earlier than I planned on leaving that afternoon, but I figured if I left now I might be able to outrun the impending storm. I was on a motorbike after all, and didn’t feel like riding in the rain.

I just feel the need to reiterate my logic here. I felt that I could outrun a tropical storm. On a scooter. *slaps forehead*

So I said my goodbyes to the others, hopped on my bike, and I was on my way. I’d already seen all the scenery so I cranked the throttle as fast as it’d go and just bolted. I passed some old ladies who were driving slow on their scooters and were wearing plastic bags on their heads… for the coming rain I guess??

I wasn’t on the road for ten minutes and that storm hit like a big watery punch to the back of my helmet. The wind had whipped up and I was being blown sideways and had to hold the handlebars really hard to stay in the same part of the road. My mirrored “aviator” sunglasses were my only eye protection, since the visor on the helmet was useless. The sun had darkened things considerably, so I was really wishing I had something more transparent because I was having a hard time seeing. I was squinting hard to keep the water out of my eyes and doing my best to ride around the massive puddles and keep out of the way of larger vehicles, which didn’t seem to have slowed down much despite the torrential downpour. I, on the other hand, could only do about 40-50km/h and feel safe while riding.

It took me a long time to get back to Phuket Town, and at no point did the rain let up. I was soaked to the bone, so I’m glad the rain was warm. Actually the rain was almost hot, it was kind of weird. I made it all the way back to the On On without getting lost once, and when I pulled in, parked the bike, and hopped off, I felt pretty fucking great. I felt like I had conquered something. Even though it was just riding home in the rain, it was riding back to my hotel room in a very foreign country, through the heaviest rain I’d ever experienced, and not getting lost. This whole trip, I haven’t ever really had a good idea of where I am, and I’ve been lost a few times. So this felt huge. I felt amazing and had a big stupid grin on my face when I got back to my hotel room. I stripped down, hung up my clothes, took a shower, and hit the bed.

I lay there and rested for awhile. I had been pretty tense while I was on the bike so it felt good to relax. Eventually I had to head out for food though because I felt like I was starving. There was a bar just up the street and I didn’t feel like walking far, because of the rain. I ducked in to “Roxy”, and it turns out that they have amazing Turkish food! I had something, and I don’t recall the name of the dish, but it was FANTASTIC. I also met a guy from San Francisco who’d moved there permanently as a teacher and married a Thai woman, as well as a young French girl who kicked my ass at billiards. I was goddamn tired though, so I didn’t stay too late, and went home to crash out in my hotel room. And here I am. Goodnight world.

Today started a little later than previous days because there wasn’t a street procession to attend, and no Ma Song being pierced to witness. I slept until mid-morning and me up with Rory for breakfast/brunch. He suggested “A Square” but I had eaten there tons already, and wanted to hit Ranong as much as I could today. Sure, A Square is tasty, and cheap, but you can spit on it from the On On, so you lose the benefit of a nice walk through Phuket Town.

Emrys and Kristi were still asleep of course, and Jason had slept at Jana’s, so Rory and I set out alone. There wasn’t as much food set up as I had hoped, but it wasn’t even 11:00am yet, and the day was still young. We gathered some vittles and I made sure I got some favourites as well as some of the things that I’d been meaning to try. We ate in my room, then Jason and Jana dropped in. The four of us sat on the beds and told stories for awhile, and this is honestly one of my favourite parts of the trip: just sitting around with good people and having great conversation.

I haven’t really made friends yet in Australia, with the exception of one special girl who lives South of me in the Blue Mountains, and you’ll hear about her soon enough. So for now, getting to sit around and shoot the shit with people my own age, with similar interests, and some that knew me in my previous life, well it was all quite comforting to be honest. Jana made remarks about how much happier I seem these days. I know with every cell in my body that I’m infinitely happier in my new life, but having a friend observe it and remark on it is a really great feeling.We ended up going back to Ranong a few more times today so I won’t keep bringing it up, but just understand that I may have spent 400฿ (about $16 AUD) on food today and that is quite a feat!

We were getting ready to head to the Montri/Phuket Road roundabout to watch the city blow up. I had traded flip flops for my skate shoes so I woudn’t have to worry about burned toes, and I put on long sleeves to protect my arms. All the photos I’d seen of the finale looked really intense, and Jason confirmed this. I saw Emrys heading out in his flip flops so I said:

“Hey, you might want to go with shoes ’cause of all the firecrackers tonight.”

“Man.” Emrys stated with his thumb pointed at his chest, before pointing to his crotch as he said “Penis!”

“Ah-hah…” I said, and just thought to myself that he may change his mind later, and regret the stubbornness.

We set out to find our spot. The streets were lined with people holding cases of fireworks and firecrackers. Most people had cases of firecrackers in red paper, with tiny firecrackers fused together one hundred at a time. Lighting one wick gave you a couple seconds to toss it before they all went off in a long string of machine-gun bursts. Many people had hundreds of these. Some people had entire cases of “crazy robot” which can only be described as a quarter-stick of dynamite preceded by a brief whistle (get the fuck back!) and a small display of sparks.

We stood right in the middle of the roundabout. Traffic was remarkably heavy, I thought the streets would be closed. There were tons of motorbikes (the Thai minivan) braving the chaos.

Things were ramping up, with the sky starting to light up with roman candles, bottle rockets and even some big cakes that sent seemingly endless bursts of fire into the sky. The people driving by were being pelted by firecrackers. The beds of pickup trucks seemed to be a crowd favourite target. One unfortunate young boy had a single firecracker land right in his hair, which proceeded to smoke like mad before his father ran across the truckbed to flick it off his head. Before the truck disappeared from sight, the father sent back a deathglare. I guess the “land of a thousand smiles” finds its limit when you almost set a little kid’s head on fire.

The air was starting to get smokey, and our group of six was turning into another favourite target. I can’t really blame them, since our six wide-eyed Farang really stuck out. Not only were we tall (well, not Emrys), and white, but most of us were visibly pierced, stretched and tattooed. People kept coming up to us to get their photo taken with our group. Rory said it best: “Hey look honey! White people!” There were four or five young local guys to our left who started throwing a lot of firecrackers under our feet. We were all laughing too, as we tried to kick back the firecrackers before they started exploding. Some other locals who’d been laughing along with us started handing us some of their firecrackers, along with a long fat incense stick to light them with. This “war” caused a ton of giggles and got a lot of attention from the locals. This is about the time that our opponents opened their case of crazy robots. You really don’t want to be within 10 metres of one of those when they go off.

Our opponents pulled one out and started to throw it toward us. They were only kidding though, and were falling all over each other laughing at our reaction, which was basically terrified scrambling. Instead, they launched it into traffic, and I watched three unlucky ladies ride up to it on their motorbike as it blew up, and they definitely wobbled on their wheels from the force of the explosion. Our opponents kept lobbing the crazy robots into traffic, and I bet you that one of those could crack a car windshield if it landed close enough!

All around us was the sound of firecrackers, shouting, laughter, honking horns, beeping bikes, whistling fireworks and the crackling in the sky as they boomed and faded. Just as I started thinking that this was getting intense, the crowd instantly mobilized and ran full-tilt off toward a side street. I turned on my video camera and started running too, because the Ma Song were coming, and this downpour of firecrackers was about to get biblical.

I pushed through the crowd so I could throw myself right into the fray. The Ma Song and their carried chariots were running down the street, and the barrage of firecrackers from bystanders was surreal. I could hardly breathe, the smell of sulfur was heavy in the air, and the flashes from the explosions combined with their concussive force shook my body as I shielded my eyes. I didn’t even notice that a pack of firecrackers had landed on the back of my neck until they started blowing up and singed my flesh.

When the chariots pass a shrine, they stop while an unreal amount of firecrackers is unleashed. People try to lob the explosives into the chair of the chariot. Poles wrapped in long strings of firecrackers are lowered. I call the poles “boomsticks.” the boomsticks were long bamboo poles with a string of 1000 firecrackers and a red box at the end. When the string detonated all the way to the top in a long machine-gun ratatatatatat, the red box would blow, sending down a shower of massive red confetti in huge flakes. I could only handle about ten minutes at this proximity, then I moved back to watch the rest of the chaos.

As it died down, we walked back to the On On, and the cleanup crew were already on the heels of the procession with their brooms. The ground was covered in bits of red paper and the cardboards shells of fireworks that had met their destiny. My whites were stained. My ears were ringing loudly. Shower, then sleep.

I set myself up at the roundabout where Montri Road and Phuket Road meet, right in the middle. I figured it was a good place to take photos. I think photos are a more powerful medium than video when it comes to truly capturing the vibe of the Ma Song. I spotted Jason and Jana walking and ran to catch up with them. I wanted to hear stories of their sea canoe trip, because I have an extra day to myself after everyone leaves and I wanted to do something cool with my time. We sat down near the roundabout and they told me their story. They had nothing but good things to say, so I made up my mind right then and there that I was going to spend my solo Wednesday on a sea canoe trip.

The procession today was intense. The part of the street where we were standing was quite narrow due to the number of motorbikes parked at the side, which pushed us out more into the street and quite close to the Ma Song. This also turned people into real assholes and everyone had their cell phones out to take pictures and video, making it hard for me to shoot photos with my real camera without getting a cellphone-clad hand ruining my shot. Luckily I am taller than most Thai people.

When the firecrackers came, it was impossible to get away from the explosions; we’d been boxed in by the motorbikes! Jason laughed when I remarked how it got a bit intense. Jana seemed to think so too but Jason said that Monday night was going to be insane. Monday is tomorrow, the last day of the festival, and it closes with hours and hours of firecrackers in the street. I have seen postcards showing the pandemonium, and it looks like a war zone. I’m stoked!

We got some food, had a nap, then went back for more food. I am probably gaining five pounds this week from all the good food. We ate dinner at this little restaurant which is a vegetariant joint even when the festival isn’t running. There we made friends with with a sweet Thai boy named Sam. Sam is only 18 years old and was very eager to practice his English speaking skills with us. He’s from Bangkok and is interested in living in an English-speaking country, but apparently English lessons are really expensive. We told him that his English was good enough and he should just go where he wants to go, and immersing himself would be the best way to learn. I don’t think we used the word “immersed” though, his English wasn’t that good.

We met up with the other three at the On On and went to Bang Neaw to see the fire-walking. There were a phenomenal amount of people there already, so we couldn’t even see the coals or the area where the ritual would happen. Then it was announced that any woman with her period, or who is in mourning, and any person who was born in the year of the rooster or goat, any of those persons should not watch the ritual. This meant that neither Jana nor I could watch. We were both born in 1981, which was the year of the rooster. I felt bad for Jana; she’d so far missed out on most of the festival because of festival customs, and now she was going to miss this too because we randomly had been born in the “wrong” year.

Jana and I decided to leave, since we couldn’t watch, and Jason came with us, apologizing. What a nice guy, since it’s obviously not his fault that our birth year is banned this year. I think jason kind of feels responsible for our group, since this is his third year here, and it’s our first year for most of us (except for Rory). The three of us just sat on our beds at the On On and had a really wonderful long conversation for a few hours until Jason walked Jana to her hotel room and he said he’d be spending the night there which meant that I could sleep naked in an empty hotel room. The hotel air conditioner seemed to either make it too cold, or not do much at all, and I don’t like being cold at night, especially when the “blankets” at the On On are just oversized beach towels. What I’m getting at is that sleeping naked is good in a hot room.

I really had to squeeze through the crowd when I got to Soi Phuthon, because some of the Ma Song were already walking the street. By the time I got to Jui Tui, the piercing was well underway and I couldn’t find any of my friends. So I just wandered the crowd, photographing the Ma Song and observing quietly.

I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to enter the temple. So far, I’d just been standing in the courtyard with the bulk of the crowd. However, I watched some other “farang” (foreigner) enter the temple, and I studied the faces of the Thai people who watched him as he entered. They seemed to have no reaction, so I figured it was okay to go inside. There was an altar, with statues and candles and incense. Almost everything was either red or gold.

I walked through that room and was standing in a much smaller courtyard. There was a small gathering of people surrounding a female Ma Song. She was being pierced. This fascinated me, because there were no female Ma Song allowed at Bang Neow since it’s a much older and more conservative shrine. I started to focus my camera, to get a picture of the female Ma Song, since I had found what I thought was the perfect vantage point from which to shoot a photo. However, a man standing next to the Ma Song started waving me out of the way and speaking in a raised tone of voice. I moved to the side, and that’s when I noticed that everyone else was standing in a bit of a u-shape around her; no one was blocking her view of the tample, except me. So I moved even further to the side and was almost knocked over by a male Ma Song who was flailing about frantically, meaning he had probably just been entranced.

Feeling very much in the way, I quickly walked back through the temple and into the courtyard. I kept taking photos until all the Ma Song were finished being pierced, and then I made my way back to the On On to watch the procession. Jana found me and we watched the procession together. I was “blessed” (unsure of the proper word) many times by the unpierced Ma Song. Some Ma Song hand out little bits of string, or candy, and some bless you with prayer flags or with water that they flick at you with little brushes. I ended up with some string, and some candy, and a small prayer flag.

After the procession, Jana and I got some food at A Square. Her and Jason were leaving at Noon for a sea canoe expedition they’d booked with the travel guy at the On On, so she needed to find him. He ended up finding us though, and then they set out.

I had a really nice long nap after my meal, it was glorious, somewhere between three and four hours long. Fuck it, it’s my birthday and I felt like it. After naptime I sat down at the tables with my iPhone to check my e-mail and communicate a bit with the world. Emrys found me there and let me use Kristi’s laptop instead of my phone, which saved me some time for sure.

I’d been having problems with the memory card that I’d bought in Montreal, so I backed-up my data to Kristi’s laptop and then Emrys and I set out to find me a new one. I wanted an 8GB or 16GB class6 SD card. I found an 8GB for 2300฿, or about $90 AUS. That’s more or less what I would have paid back home, so I was good to go.

We found Kristi on our walk back to the On On. She was walking to go get a one hour Thai massage. I decided I’d go too, since it was my birthday and all. Emrys reminded me that during festival, I was not supposed to have any contact with the opposite sex. Honestly, that wasn’t enough to stop me, my apologies to the festival Gods. It may have been rude but my back was sore, it was my birthday, and it this hour-long massage was only going to cost me 250฿ ($10), whereas back home it’d be more like $65.

The massage place was pretty upscale. They fed us Thai tea, washed our feet, then led us upstairs to a little room with two small mattresses at opposite ends of the room. So we lay down on our beds and these two Thai masseusses climbed all over us, literally. Mine walked up and down my legs and back. Kristi is short and quite tiny, so her massage was different and didn’t include any walking. I had my hips, back, legs, toes and fingers cracked, and almost every part of me got massaged. My favourites are still hand and scalp massages.

After the massage, Kristi and I walked to get some vegan donuts from the lady next to Bang Neow shrine. I got seven donuts and they were all gone before we walked back to the On On. We grabbed Rory and Emrys and set out for dinner since it was about that time. We had a few hours to kill before the climbing of the bladed-ladder, so we took our time wandering. During this festival, you can just walk up and down Ranong Road and get little servings of whatever you want from the tables set up by street vendors. It’s all vegetarian, and mostly vegan, and you can find so many good things.

My latest discovery is coconut milk ice cream. They cut open a warm coconut right in front of you, and cut out most of the meat. Then they add five small scoops of delicious coconut milk ice cream. Then you can add toppings, and I add chocolate powder, tapioca jelly cubes, and peanuts. So the four of us wandered and gathered food and ate, then we set out for Bang Neow to watch the bladed ladder climbing. While we were waiting for the ceremony to get started, we all made donations to the shrine at their donation counter.

We found a good spot to stand, but noticed the lack of bladed ladder. Instead, there was a huge cauldron of oil being stirred and heated. We were informed by loudspeaker that the bladed ladder wasn’t happening this year; apparently it only takes place every two or three years. The oil they were stirring would be bottled and handed out as a type of cure-all, but we decided just to head back to the hotel instead. I was tired, and sleep won. I only barely remember Jason quietly returning home from his trip later that night, as I was mostly passed out.

They tapered those cheeks piercings up to scary sizes, although “ripped” may be a more accurate word than “tapered.” They were inserting swords, shovels, knives, toy plastic rakes, engine parts, plants, model ships, flagpoles, and all manner of things. Methods for proper sterilization and prevention of cross-contamination were not really being observed here. Some people wore gloves, but didn’t change their gloves when they went to pierce a new person. Tissues and prayer flags used to soak up blood were discarded on the ground.

The entranced Ma Song would hit their own backs with axes and get all bloodied, and some would furiously lick blades to cut up their tongues and get really bloody. Some Ma Song had their tongues skewered too. Once pierced, the Ma Song would have to walk a very long procession through the streets, followed by more firecrackers than you could possibly imagine. I hung out with Jason and Rory during the procession, and we were tagging along with “Joy Boy” whom Jason knew from previous years. We were walking through the streets, looking for Zu (a local piercer who is also a Ma-Song). We met one of Joy Boy’s friends, who gave us a couple huge firecrackers called “Crazy Robot” along with an incense stick to light them. The side of the firecracker said “Emits sound and sparks.”

We were hanging out at the roadside during the procession, watching the Ma-Song walk by, and Jason decided he didn’t want to hold onto his Crazy Robot anymore so he walked it into the centre of the street. There weren’t any Ma-Song walking through at the time so it seemed like it’d be okay. The rest of the crowd took about three steps back as Jason lit it and came back to stand with us. It made a short whistle noise, showed no sparks, and detonated with an astonishing concussive force. I swear it pushed me back and I was standing 20 to 30 feet away. It felt like the whole crowd was glaring at us after that. I mean, there were kids all over the place and some of them were standing closer than we were. This is Jason’s “unimpressed” face.

That thing was like a quarter-stick of dynamite! We had no idea it’d be so bad. The guy who gave it to us spoke no English, and we spoke little Thai. Jason was complaining that a bit of the casing hit him in the leg as it exploded. It wouldn’t be until later that we’d see just how bad it was!

After the procession, we came back to the On On and met up with Jana. We went to “A Square” for breakfast, where you can get a huge plate of any type of food for 60฿, and for another 20฿ you got a delicious lime shake. This means that I got full for a little over $3.00 AUS. Ridiculous.

After breakfast, Jason and Jana and I had a foodnap back at the hotel. They were gone when I awoke, so I had a shower and checked in with the internet via my iPhone. I ate my leftover food and then hung out with Jason and Jana again once they returned. We sat and talked at the tables, then we hung out in the room and talked some more, before once again going out for food. Seriously, the food is insanely good. We spent the last few hours just chilling and talking in our hotel room, catching up on things and talking about how we’re changing. Those two are great people and I’m so glad that I’m here with them. Tomorrow morning is the street procession at the Jui Tui shrine. Oh, and it’s also my 28th birthday.

Today was my first day in Phuket. I took a taxi from the airport to the On On Hotel. This cost me 500 Baht, which is about $20 AUD. The main floor is open the street. There’s a driveway that runs up to the reception desk and beside the rooms with air con. There’s also a little café-like seating area with four tables, each with four chairs, which is right next to a little internet café (which is not part of the hotel). The internet café only has 3 computers, but you can get an hour of wireless access for 20 Baht (about 80 cents), and I brought my iPhone so I’ll be fine.

I chose the “top of the line” room, which has two single beds, air con, a bathroom with a Western toilet (not a squat toilet), and some built-in furniture. The toilet has a funny little hose coming off the side which I am supposed to use to wash my ass. The room only costs 400 Baht/night ($16AUD) so it’s cool.

Once I finished settling in, I went upstairs to look for Jason at his room, but there was a padlock on his door, so he was obviously out. I came back downstairs to see Jason & Jana just returning from a walk. They were all dressed in white, and Jason’s beard has gotten so dense and long, it’s amazing. We hugged and sat down at one of the tables to chat. Their friend Rory showed up too. Rory is very tall, with long blonde hair pulled back into a rolled-up pony tail. His big friendly grin is decorated with a reddish mustache that is grown out longer at the corners of his mouth. He has a really good vibe.

Rory was setting out for food, and I was hungry too. It was around 10:30am and all I’d eaten was a shitty airplane meal. Jason & Jana had just eaten so we parted ways. If I was to eat at the festival, I needed to be dressed all in white and have my shoulders covered. Nothing I brought with me would work, but Rory told me he knew where I could buy whites. After a short walk, we stopped in somewhere and I got suited up in whites, with an orange belt, for 395 Baht ($15AUD) and then I was good to go.

We walked the streets to find the food being sold for the festival, and I followed closely to Rory’s heels since I didn’t have a clue where I was going. The buildings here are old and weathered. The concrete is cracked and patchy. The curbs are uneven; some tall, some short, and they’re painted with red and white stripes. There are three times more motorbikes than cars, and it’s not uncommon to see parents and children and groceries all on one bike. Helmets are not widely used. We found food and headed back to the On On. Here we met up with Emrys and his girlfriend Kristy.

I had met Emrys at various BME events over the years, but hadn’t seen him for about three years. Unsure if he’d remember me, I re-introduced myself:

“Emrys!”

“Hey, we’ve been kind of sort of looking for you.”

“Not sure if you remember meeting me, I’m Tim.”

“Of course I remember, you don’t forget these!” and he gestured to his face where his chops would be if he had them.

He liked my chops. Emrys doesn’t have chops, but he has facial tattoos. Emrys is 26 but I always figured he was older than me, based on the way he spoke.

We walked around grabbing some more amazing vegan food, and then we hit the Jui Tui shrine just to see what was going on. This turned out to be not much more than little kids lighting off firecrackers, so we returned to the On On and ate.

We decided it’d be cool to go check out a beach and have a swim. We wanted to hit Rawai Beach, but it’s about 15km from town. For 230 Baht ($7AUD) I got a motorbike for 24 hours. It only cost 100 Baht ($4AUD) to fill the tank. Emrys drove a bike with Kristy on the back as navigator, and Rory was on the back of my bike. It’s a good thing I’ve already been in Australia for a while, otherwise driving on the left side of the road would have been a bit weird.

Rawai Beach was a bit sad and disappointing. It got hit hard by the big Tsunami and wasn’t really “inviting.” So we decided to get back on the bikes and head to Kata Noi Beach instead. Hell, I didn’t mind, I was having an awesome time riding the motorbike. It was one hell of and incline for about half the ride to Kata Noi, and at one point I thought the bike was dying because I was losing acceleration like mad. THe second half was all downhill and I was doing 50km/h without using any throttle and just riding the brakes. We passed a guy riding an elephant, and saw dune buggies for rent.

We got to the beach and it was just pristine. Beautiful. white sand, clear blue water, and the ocean wasn’t just warm, it was hot. It was like a very comfortable salty bath. We played in the ocean and it wanted to suck us way out to sea. Swimming to shore was challenging; I’m not the greatest swimmer.

We walked the beach, collecting trash, chasing crabs and digging up little crustaceans hiding in the sand. You could detect the little hiders by the way the water moved around the sand as the waves pulled away. We made friends with a stray dog before heading back to Phuket Town as the sun sank into the horizon behind us.

When we got back we ate, again. Emrys and I left Rory and Kristie behind, since they wanted to sit down and eat. We wandered up and down Ranong Road, collecting food to bring back and eat at the On On. We were damn hungry but our eyes were bigger than our stomachs. I had tons of leftovers! With a full belly and a big smile, I went to sleep.

**UPDATE: Made it!

Just barely though, since the BKK customs & passport line was a total clusterfuck. I got to my gate just as boarding was finishing. I really didn’t want to get bumped a later flight. So now it’s just a quick 90 minute flight to Phuket. I’m wide awake, because I got a solid 7 hours of sleep on the last plane, thanks to an empty row and tons of pillows.

Oh! And once I woke up, I played Dr. Mario at my seat! They had all kinds of old-school Nintendo games available. It was amazing.

I’m on my way to Phuket. Jason and Jana are already there. The processions for the vegetarian festival have begun. I’ll be arriving mid-festival and I’m not too sure what to expect, though I know I’ll see some “Ma-song” with pierced faces. I am travelling light with just a small backpack containing minimal clothing and my videocamera.

I’m looking forward to good food and a bit of adventure. Jason’s friends Emrys, Kristi and Rory are also there, so there’s the potential for new friends. I have left most of this trip to chance, and have done very little research. Let’s hope that results in awesome adventure, and doesn’t backfire. I like happy surprises. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. First Asian excursion. I’ll be staying at the On On Hotel if I can get a room; they don’t take reservations. They filmed the start of the movie “The Beach” there. Not luxurious.

I had a beautiful going-away party at my Dad’s house last Saturday (Sept.5th). I had invited tons of family, and some close friends to come by my Dad’s house, at any time that suited them, for some BBQ and hangouts. I had no idea how many people I should expect, but thought somewhere between 30 and 60 would be about accurate. I’m not sure exactly how many were in attendance, but it was a really great turnout. The party went from 2pm until 3am. There was tons of good food, I had an awesome iTunes playlist going for most of the party, which was turned off after dark for a fire-side acoustic jam that went for about 5 hours on and off. I went to sleep with the biggest smile on my face. I didn’t have a single drink all day and had the best fucking time.

Then the next day I had to finish packing up everything, double-check that I wasn’t forgetting anything, and pack up my guitar. Packing my guitar involved 3 whole rolls of bubblewrap and tons of patience to get it just right. Luckily my buddy Whittley was there to help me make sure I wasn’t putting too much pressure on the neck. Bubblewrap in the case, around the case, and then a box around the whole thing (big thanks to Billy T for the packing advice). It was a lot to fit in the car when all was ready. My Mom, Dad and sister Lauren came with me to the airport. The trunk just barely fit my two suitcases, so the guitar had to come in the backseat with me and my Dad. It wasn’t too bad.

Once we got to the airport we still had plenty of time so we had dinner and sat around talking and laughing lots. The goodbye was hard.

Dad said he wasn’t going to cry, that Mom would do the crying. He also said he was jealous of the adventures I was bound to have. I could tell he was proud of me. Mom cried a ton and hugged me a billion times. She said she was sad I was leaving, but that I had to go make my mark on the world. I don’t think my younger sister Lauren really understood that I was leaving for a long time. She gave me a hug and told me she loved me, and then I was off. I walked through security and kept looking back over my shoulder. My family stayed and watched me walk through the metal detector and gather my belongings. As I walked away from the security checkpoint, my family was jumping and waving, getting their last glimpses of me before I left. I waved back, and headed down the escalator.

I had been fine up until this point, but I felt something strange while riding down the escalator. I had a lump in my throat, but I was ecstatic at the same time. Sad to leave my family behind, but so excited about the prospects ahead of me in a new country.

I still had lots of time to kill, so I cruised the airport book store. I wanted a book for the plane, and bought “On The Road” by Jack Kerouac. I settled in at my departure gate and started reading.

When the time came, I boarded the plane. I was flying with Air Canada, and it was a really new plane. I could tell because first class had those “pods” where you can recline until your chair becomes a bed, and they had everything you could imagine at their fingertips. It looked pretty sweet. I don’t think it’d be worth the $10,000 I was quoted for a first class ticket to Australia, but it was sweet nonetheless.

We were taking off at 8:30pm from Toronto, and landing in Vancouver for a short while. I was planning on staying awake for this leg of the trip, but when no one sat down in the other two seats beside my window seat, I decided to take full advantage. I raised the two armrests and lay down on my side and slept all the way to Vancouver without any trouble. I thought I would be able to just hangout on the plane when we got there but they made us leave so the plane could be cleaned.

I walked around the Vancouver airport for a bit, then sat down and took advantage of the free WiFi and chatted with a couple people and my buddy Ivan. The next leg of the trip was about to start, and I had got some sleeping pills. Can’t remember the name.

We got on the plane and they fed us as soon as we were in the air. I’d asked for a vegetarian meal so that I wouldn’t have to deal with rubbery chicken. It was edible. Then I took two of the four pills. I turned on my iPod and tried to get comfortable in my window seat. I had someone sitting next to me now, but I still had some elbow room. I drifted off and woke up about 5 hours later as best I could tell. I asked when the next meal was, and read my book until it came. Then I took the other two pills and slept for about another 4 hours, then I was wide awake again. These pills didn’t have any grogginess afterward which was cool.

About 3 hours later I was in Sydney, needing to catch my connecting flight. However, they made me pick up my baggage, and re-check it, and I didn’t really have enough time. When the luggage carousel started up my baggage was some of the first to arrive, and when I went to the area for fragile baggage to grab my guitar, it came quickly too. I even cut in the line for checking in baggage but still didn’t make it. There was a shuttle bus to take me to another terminal and I only had 25 minutes until liftoff. Apparently this is not enough time. So I got bumped. Ninety minutes later I was in the air again, and about an hour after that I landed in Brisbane, where my family was there to greet me.

My Aunt Denise and Uncle Barry drove me to their house and I got settled in. The house is really nice and I have a pretty big bedroom, with a huge closet. I don’t have a lot of stuff so I’m not cramped by any means. My family down here is really cool, very chill, and I’m stoked to be living with them. My 11 year old cousin Luka showed up not long after and he was pretty excited to see me. The little dude is a violin ninja and he showed me some classical stuff he’s been working on. The kid is amazing.

Later in the day, after some food, we all took a nice long walk down the beach so their dog, Kai, could run. He’s a sheepdog and is really attentive and “on the ball.” Very cool doggie. The beaches here are incredible. The sand is packed down really hard where the tide comes in, and my feet barely make footprints. When we got home, I crashed. Hard.

I got up at 4:30am and got to work. My company bought me a Windows PC, and I wanted to erase Windows and install Ubuntu, which I did promptly. The rest of the day was spent installing all the software I need to do my job. It wasn’t too bad. I didn’t notice the jetlag until later in the day, when I started feeling dizzy and so tired I could barely lift my head up. I had a short nap, and then went to watch my cousin Luka’s orchestra rehearsal. These kids are frigging amazing for their age. I got some good video footage that I’ll juxtapose with their concert performance later. They perform about a month from now, and right now they need some more practice. It’ll be cool to cut it all together later and flip back and forth between rough/rusty and a nicely polished concert performance.

After we got home, I crashed. Hard. The kind of sleep I’ve been having since I got here is the kind where you wake up with your blankets undisturbed.

Today I did a bit of work in the morning, then headed downtown with my Aunt to open a bank account. We walked. It took about an hour and we walked along an oceanside path the entire way. We passed Dicky Beach, Moffat Beach, Shelly Beach, and Kings Beach before ending up in the city centre. We did the bank thing, then got some lunch. I tried to find a place to buy a longboard, but the only surf shop that had them only had three boards and I didn’t like any of them.

The bank system is cool here. You can go to Woolworth’s (a grocery store) or other stores, go to the counter, and just take out cash, without fees. You don’t even have to buy something, you can just use them like an ATM. They also have debit Visa cards. So you can do things that you can only use credit cards for, like buy plane tickets or concert tickets online, but you’re using your actual money, not credit. We don’t have that in Canada. It’s pretty awesome. I think I’m going to get one and cancel my Visa card.

When we got home I was pretty tired from all the walking, but my uncle wanted to go shopping for office chairs, so we headed out. Our home office was in desperate need of good chairs, but no longer. We got some. They’ve got all the nifty adjustments to make them good for my back and my posture. Awesomeness.

After that, we took the dog, Kai, for a long walk down the beach, and I left Barry and Kai to go look for longboards. I found one I was happy with at a local surf shop and plunked down my cash and rode home. It’s a Sector Nine board, with a bamboo deck. I like it.

Tonight I cooked up stirfry for the family and now I’m just chilling. I’m gonna pass out soon. This jetlag shit is tiring.

So overall, Australia has been amazing so far. It’s always 25C and sunny, which is a welcome switch from the constantly changing weather of Calgary, Alberta. That place has meteorological A.D.D.

Now I am tired. Bed!